Tang Dynasty: Slacking off in the Imperial Kitchen, exposed by Si Zi

Chapter 19: It smells awful, but tastes delicious!

This time, rapeseed oil is being used, and the oil temperature needs to be high.

Su Mu threw the tofu pieces that he had already cut into the braising liquid.

The pristine white tofu was instantly stained dark black upon entering the oil. After being scooped out and drained, it was immediately slid into the boiling oil without lingering.

Sizzle—!

Oil splattered everywhere.

The original pure stench underwent a strange transformation under the stimulation of high temperature.

The stench was still there, but a slightly caramelized aroma was beginning to emerge. The tofu cubes expanded rapidly in the oil, small bubbles forming on their surface, and the black outer layer became crispy.

Just then, there was a scratching sound coming from outside the door.

"Brother... Brother, help me!"

Her voice was weak and feeble, with a hint of crying.

Su Mu walked over and had just unlatched the door when two figures squeezed in as if fleeing a disaster, slamming the door shut behind them.

Little Sizi had completely lost her usual liveliness.

She pinched her nose tightly with one hand, deforming her delicate, pretty face, while waving her other hand wildly in the air, trying to shoo away the smell.

Li Lizhi was in no better shape; she covered her mouth and nose with a handkerchief, her brows furrowed so deeply they could trap a fly.

"Brother...you...you've got your pants pockets full?"

The little ox asked in a muffled voice, its big eyes filled with terror, "Oh, that stinky duck! Did you boil its poop?"

Su Mu almost choked on the fumes.

"What are you saying!"

Su Mu poked the oil in the pan with long chopsticks, and the dark, cube-shaped tofu rolled around in the oil. "This is called stinky tofu. It smells bad, but tastes good."

Li Lizhi took two steps back, her back pressed against the door, her eyes filled with existential doubt.

"Stinky...stinky tofu?"

She pointed at the pot, her voice trembling, "This stuff is all black! And the smell... it's clearly rotten! You... you're not crazy, are you?"

This isn't food, it's practically cooking poison!

Su Mu ignored their questions, took the fried stinky tofu out, and drained the oil.

The dark, square blocks, their surfaces pitted and uneven, were still steaming. The strange odor swirled in the cramped woodshed, truly pushing the limits of human endurance.

He poked a hole in the middle of each piece of tofu.

Pour on garlic water, drizzle with balsamic vinegar, add a spoonful of the secret spicy sauce that was just made these past few days, and finally sprinkle with chopped cilantro and pickled mustard greens.

The broth seeped into the hole, making a soft sizzling sound.

"Here, have a taste."

Su Mu handed a rough porcelain plate to the two of them.

The little ox was so frightened that it hid behind Li Lizhi, shaking its head like a rattle drum, its two little pigtails flying up and down.

"No way! I'd rather die than eat! It stinks! My mouth will smell bad if I eat it!"

Li Lizhi also looked resistant, keeping her mouth tightly shut, as if afraid of inhaling a mouthful of poison gas.

"Really not going to eat?"

Su Mu picked up a piece and deliberately waved it in front of them. The tofu trembled, and soup dripped down from the crack.

"This is top-notch. The outside is so crispy it crumbles, and the inside is so tender it melts in your mouth. One bite and even a god would lose his balance." Su Mu finished speaking and took a bite himself.

Click!

A crisp sound.

That was the sound of the fried pastry cracking.

Immediately afterwards, Su Mu squinted his eyes and chewed twice with a look of utter delight.

That expression doesn't seem fake.

Li Lizhi watched as Su Mu ate the food, and instead of dying on the spot, he seemed to enjoy it. Her defenses lowered by a millimeter.

Really... edible?

"Since you're not going to eat, then forget it." Su Mu pretended to turn around. "I haven't had lunch yet anyway, this plate isn't even enough to fill my teeth."

That's how people are; the more they're prevented from eating something, the more they feel cheated.

Especially for these two foodies who have been spoiled by Su Mu, Su Mu's products are always top-notch, a rule that has never been broken.

Gum!

Little Si swallowed hard.

Although the taste was still quite strong, everyone ate it with great relish.

She peeked half her head out from behind her sister, beckoning with her little finger: "Then...can I just sniff that nest for a little while?"

Su Mu lowered the plate.

Little Sizi leaned closer and carefully took a small breath.

Huh?

The stench seems to change when you get closer.

The aroma of the chili sauce, the spiciness of the garlic water, and the charred fragrance of the fried food actually suppressed half of the stench, turning it into an alluring... exotic scent?

"It doesn't smell like poop?" Xiao Sizi released her grip on her nose.

I don't lie to children.

Su Mu handed her a pair of chopsticks. "Try it? If it's not good, I'll eat the whole plate."

Little Sizi gritted his teeth and picked up the smallest piece.

Close your eyes, open your mouth, and shout!

Li Lizhi stared intently at her younger sister, ready to rush forward and help at any moment.

The little ox took a bite and froze.

It wasn't as disgusting as I had imagined.

The moment your teeth touch the tofu skin, its crisp outer layer crumbles, making a pleasant sound.

Immediately afterwards, the scalding hot juice exploded in my mouth. The tofu inside was incredibly tender, so tender that it didn't need to be chewed at all; it just slid right down my tongue.

Does it smell bad? Yes, it smells bad.

But the pungent smell, mixed with that salty, savory, and spicy flavor, actually drives your taste buds crazy. The more you chew, the more fragrant it becomes, and the more you want to chew!

The little ox suddenly opened its eyes, its eyes shining brightly.

"Wow--!"

Ignoring the heat, she stuffed the remaining half into her mouth, her cheeks bulging, and her speech began to slurred severely again.

"Great! Really great! My poop has turned into poop!"

Li Lizhi was stunned.

Is it really that amazing?

"Sister! Hurry up! Otherwise, all the pots will be gone!" Little Sizi said, breathing out hot air as she reached for the second piece.

Li Lizhi could no longer hold back.

She stepped forward, pinched the handkerchief between two fingers, and picked up a piece as elegantly as possible.

After much hesitation, she gently parted her lips.

Upon tasting it, Li Lizhi's pupils dilated instantly.

The texture is amazing! How can something like this exist in this world? The smell makes you want to run away, but the taste makes you want to kneel down! The rich, fermented flavor is incomparable to any fresh ingredient.

"How is it?" Su Mu leaned against the stove, a half-smile on his face.

Li Lizhi didn't have time to answer; the handkerchief was long gone, and she reached for her chopsticks faster than anyone else.

"More!"

……

Inside the door, two of the most noble princesses of the Tang Dynasty were scrambling for the dark "poison" on a plate without any regard for their image.

Outside the door, there's a wall separating the two sides.

Wang Dequan, leading seven or eight eunuchs, each holding a damp cloth covering their face, was wandering around the backyard.

"It's right around here! This is where the strongest smell is!" Wang Dequan's voice trembled.

He pointed towards the woodshed: "It looks like it floated out of this dilapidated house!"

A young eunuch mustered his courage and moved closer, but after taking a breath, he immediately gagged and retreated: "No, Master! It smells terrible! This...this must be a nest of dead rats rotting inside!"

Wang Dequan's face darkened, and he didn't dare to get too close.

The smell is so overpowering, it makes your head ache.

"Break down the door! I want to see what kind of filth is hidden inside!"

Several eunuchs were about to step forward.

Suddenly, a silvery laugh rang out from the woodshed—the unique cheers of a little girl after she had eaten her fill.

"One more piece! That big one is awesome!"

"Don't grab it, that piece is juicier."

Wang Dequan was stunned.

That voice... why does it sound so familiar? And how can someone laugh in such a stinking place?

"Master...should we still ram it?" the young eunuch asked hesitantly.

Wang Dequan hesitated.

No one usually comes to this backyard, but this laughter is creepy.

And that smell... why does it make me feel a little... hungry after smelling it for a while?

Glug!

Wang Dequan's stomach growled at an inopportune moment.

His face flushed red, and he glared angrily at the young eunuch: "What are you doing, bumping into things! What if you startle some unclean spirit... Seal off the area! Don't let this smell drift in and bother His Majesty!"

Inside the door, Su Mu listened to the commotion outside and a mischievous smile crept onto his lips.

"Eat faster."

He wiped the sauce from Xiao Sizi's mouth, "Otherwise, if those people barge in later and think we're eating... well, you know, it'll be hard to explain."

Little Sizi let out a burp, his mouth still smelling of garlic: "What the hell is that?"

"It cannot be said, it cannot be said." Su Mu tossed a piece of cilantro into his mouth. "Just understand."